This shame-free evening also asks a little courage from the audience
At work and in love, shame follows us everywhere. Yet it is precisely by embracing your shame that you can free yourself from it. But how do you do that? You can learn in the new theatre lecture Shamelessly Shame-Free by Professor of Organisational Psychology Aukje Nauta.
Typical, really: the subject we most urgently need to talk about is the one we avoid like the plague. 'Shame itself is an embarrassing topic, especially in the workplace,' says Aukje Nauta, endowed professor of social and organisational psychology and author of the book Nooit meer doen alsof (Never Pretend Again). 'We are ashamed of shame itself. You can see this, for example, in research into burnout. One of its defining features is mental exhaustion, but also feelings of incompetence. And those feelings are accompanied by shame.'
Keeping up appearances
Shame also plays a major role in inappropriate or transgressive behaviour. 'Not only do we often struggle to speak out when we are victims, but when we are the ones in the wrong, we also find it difficult to admit our mistakes. Experience shows that if you dare to acknowledge something at an early stage and face it honestly, it prevents far more problems than hiding it away for years.' Difficult, because shame triggers exactly that reflex: keeping up appearances, concealing and covering things up.
For everyone who feels shame sometimes
And it is precisely this hiding of our shame that must stop, according to Nauta. That is why, after years of giving talks to companies and organisations on themes such as psychological safety and sustainable employability, she is now taking the stage with Shamelessly Shame-Free: an interactive theatre performance about shame. An evening for anyone who has ever felt ashamed — in other words, for everyone.
Pretend-student
We do not only feel shame at work — over that awkward remark to a colleague or breaking down in tears during a meeting. Student life, too, is full of shame-inducing situations. Struggling to keep up in seminars, freezing during a presentation or, in more extreme cases, dropping out of your studies altogether. For some, keeping up appearances can seem like the only option. 'Pretending to study is very much connected to shame and can lead to serious problems,' says Nauta. 'As inspiration for this theatre lecture, I also interviewed so-called pretend students about their experiences. One of them was Onno (not his real name), who, during exam periods, would escape by taking an intercity train to Groningen, Maastricht or Vlissingen, so that his housemates would think he was heading off to an exam.'
Authenticity and connection
Of course, a theatre lecture about shame would not be complete without the audience exposing a little vulnerability of their own. In moderation, admittedly. Nauta herself also demonstrates what that looks like by candidly discussing what she describes as her “messy love life”. 'When I share personal stories and do not take myself too seriously, it encourages others to open up as well.' Ultimately, all these confessions serve the same worthwhile purpose. 'When you speak out and name your shame, it leads to authenticity and connection — and ultimately to a life free from shame.'
Ready for a shame-free evening?
Shamelessly Shame-Free (in Dutch) will tour theatres across the Netherlands from 19 May 2026 until 23 June 2027. See all dates here. On 4 September, Aukje Nauta will perform at Theater Ins Blau in Leiden. Direction is by Berthold Gunster, known for the Omdenken ('Reverse Thinking') book series and podcast.